... Because I'm Different...?

I've noticed something over the passed few months while out and about in the larger towns and cities in Ireland, if you look in any way "alternative", people expect you to be rebellious, rule-breaking, and interested in donated and saving everything.

I have been continuously approached while in a group of people, and singled out with my appearance mentioned, and then asked to vote no against something, to protest about something else, to give a tenner every month. I don't get why I would seem more likely to agree with the terms, and opinions of these people over the other members of my group.

Does having alternative coloured hair, piercings, and a "Kayla" dress-sense mean I automatically want to stick it to "The Man" at every opportunity I can get, or go against the crowd? I've never been one to break rules, or go against the grain because it's not "mainstream". Being "alternative" seems to label you as one of "them", in with the crowd. The world savers.

Now, don't get me wrong, I do donate to worthy causes, I do care about voting, and protests. However, I have strong personal beliefs, many of them not agreeing with theirs. I found it uncomfortable being chosen as the one they'd think would agree with them,, especially when their conversation would start with "Wow, your hair is pretty amazing" or "Oh, sweet piercing".

I don't dye my hair because I want to make a statement against something. I dye my hair, because I WANT to, and because I get insanely bored with it rather quickly. I don't get piercings to be rebellious, I get them because I WANT to, and because I like them, and they're part of me. I dress how I WANT to dress what I'm comfortable with, again, not to make a statement. These factors shouldn't mean that I'm going to rebel against everything wrong in the world, or enjoy being isolated to discuss whatever charity you're signing people up for. These factors are what makes me, well, me.

Then again, maybe I'm just being paranoid and over-thinking things (it has been a long day, and it is quite late) and they're not selecting me over the others. Has anybody else has experience with this at all? It'd be interesting to find out who gets approached over others.

Sunny Side Up.

Things are starting to come up Milhouse!

I've been offered a part time, possibility of full time, job in an Indian restaurant. Not my ideal career move, but I  like to  cook, and who knows, maybe this is meant to be. I also have an interview on Monday for another job, just working in a petrol station (hardly seems as glamorous!) but the perks would be better. If I get offered that job, I'm just gonna have to weigh up both and see which would be better. And who knows, maybe I could do both! Fun times!

It's hard not to be super excited right now. Not just about finally getting back to work, but about everything in general. The weather is amazing, I just spent a few days in sunny sunny Galway (the people there are always so much happier and nicer than down here) and I'm starting to feel a bit more positive about my life as a whole. I'm just finally in a happy place.

I have some plans for the next few weeks if I get around to doing them. The Ocean Races are on in Galway during the last week of June, so I'm hoping to go up and snap a few shots of that (I really need to bulk out my portfolio) I'm hoping to get some more filming done, and finalise my showreel. And with both, apply for anything and everything in the industry and hopefully, something amazing will come up. (And if not, I'll just become a chef!)

Roll on summer, and see what other adventures you bring! =D.

Sun! Sun! Glorious Sun!

It's May, and supposedly summer (according to this Irish way of thinking, Spring starts February 1st, Summer starts May 1st, Autumn starts August 1st and Winter starts November 1st. Which is a pile of balogne!). Sorry, that just irritates me, seasons cannot be denoted by the 1st of a month, things don't just change!

Anyhoo! It's May, and there is sun, a fair bit, but then it rains, and rains and rains and then hails! And rains a bit more. And all of this sharp changes in the weather has been making me think about the summer I was 16. I had no responcibilty, I could get up when I wanted, go to bed when I wanted, do whatever I wanted to do. I'm now turning 21, I have just completed my college course and now have no idea what I'm going to do, or meant to do with the rest of my life, and I'm honestly very truely terrified!

I'm back into the whole finding a job path again, and it's not going well. And to be honest, I don't want to work in a super market, or in a fast food joint (again). I pretty much have my degree now and want to do something with it. Finding that something is proving difficult.

It's getting harder to stay positive about it all. I'm passionate about the industry I want to go into, maybe it's just not passionate about me?

If you don't laugh, you cry.

Over the past few weeks I've had a lot of bad crappy things happen to me, for example, I'm down a car, a few friends, stressed to the nines with college and planning the rest of my life (Doesn't seem bad and crappy, the health side to it is.) and it's getting really difficult to stay positive about life in general. 

There's one thing my aunt has always said, and it's something I'll probably carry with me for the rest of my life; "If you don't laugh about it, you'll just cry". 

I've found myself repeating this over and over again in my head when things begin to feel to tough. Like after the car accident, being stuck in A&E for a few hours wasn't the way I had hoped to spend that evening, and the thought that we wouldn't be going home, or anywhere again, in our car was heartbreaking (I know, I know, it's only a car). But that one little saying, said at intervals by both of us (my aunt and I) somehow helped us get through it. Along with "Everything happens for a reason" and another one of her favourites "God has a plan for everyone/everything". 

I guess what I'm trying to say here is, even when the going seems insanely tough, and you feel like giving up and going no further, try and stay positive. Think about something good that will come out of all of this (For me, it's a new car (still sad about losing the old one mind!), a college degree (something that was unthinkable over 4 years ago) and the chance to start my own life) and it will help pull you through. And if that fails, just laugh about it. In my books, laughing outweighs crying any day.